


Ground Control to Major Tom

by growup_thatbeautiful



Category: Ocean's Eleven Trilogy (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Astronaut Debbie Ocean, F/F, Full Angst, Sad Ending, Sad Lou Miller, Space AU, The whole thing is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/growup_thatbeautiful/pseuds/growup_thatbeautiful
Summary: Debbie is gone. She’s floating above the World, falling more and more in love with the universe as the seconds away from Lou’s love tick by.
Relationships: Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean
Kudos: 7





	Ground Control to Major Tom

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone hasn’t heard this song, it’s definitely a must listen. Space Oddity by David Bowie. someone help me i can’t stop writing sad stuff.

“I’m floating in the most peculiar way, and the stars look very different today.  
For here am I sitting in a tin can, far above the world. Planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do.  
Though I’m past 100,000 miles, I’m feeling very still, I’m feeling very still.  
and I think my spaceship knows which way to go.  
Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows.  
Ground Control to Major Tom, you’re circuits dead, there’s something wrong.  
Can you hear me major Tom, can you hear me Major Tom?” - David Bowie

“I love you.” Deb’s voice is ringing in her ears, cursing himself for not appreciating them when they were said. All she had said back was “I love you too.” 

If she had known they would be the last ones she would get to say to Debbie then she would’ve tried to make them a little more special. Talk about how proud she was that Debbie was doing this, achieving what she’d always wanted. She would’ve made it clear that she wanted Debbie to do this, but never never wanted Debbie to think she was ready to let her go. She would’ve given her something, one of her necklaces maybe. She would beg Debbie for one last look.

But Lou’s always been one step behind, one year too late. By the time they got back together Lou’s mind was already set. She had been training for years for her trip to space. A supposedly two-way trip, but Lou’s not convinced that Debbie didn’t just tell her that so they wouldn’t have to say goodbye. Not like it hasn’t happened before. 

Debbie hates saying goodbye. She never said goodbye to her brother. Lou’s waiting for the phone call that she gets from Danny to ask why the hell his little sister is in space. She’s pretty sure Rusty’s going to be even more upset that Danny. He’s always had a soft spot for his sister-in-law. 

Everything had been going fine in the beginning. Debbie had gone through the normal checks, fitting her suit. Lou had even been allowed to be in the room when Debbie took her pictures for the press, future headlines being set to read “Succes to space.” Now they’re going to read “Horrible disaster, Woman Lost At Space.” 

Debbie and Lou had done a press conference together. Apparently it’s a big deal to people that Debbie has a wife, like that’s had any impact on her in the slightest throughout her journey. 

Lou knows Debbie would’ve stopped if Lou had asked her to. She would jump off that spaceship and come running back to where she belongs, into Lou’s arms. But Lou would never be the reason that someone else didn’t get to reach their dreams. Especially Deb. Debbie has been told time and time again that she can’t do things, and Lou would never take that away from her. 

Lou’s not good at taking things away. She never told her grandparents she was gay because she wasn’t going to be the one who made her dad never see his mother again.

She had stood by as ground control called out Debbie’s checklist, nervously picking at her nails, a habit that Debbie had always hated. 

She was standing in the control room when Debbie blasted off. She heard the countdown, a doomsday device in her head for how long she had left with her wife on the same planet. 

She leaned casually against the wall as Debbie described for the millions of people listened to what it was like above the earth, weaving a dream from her reality. She knew Debbie wasn’t coming back. She had been one of Debbie’s greatest loves, but always coming in second to that moment that Debbie had been chasing for most of her life. The moment when Lou lost her forever. 

See, Debbie hadn’t been acting normal this morning. Lou had lied to herself and said it was just pre-flight nerves, but Debbie doesn’t get nervous, not about this. Debbie had held on extra tight in bed, held Lou close and whispered a million “I love you”s into Lou’s hair. She had kept her eyes shut when Lou wrapped her arms around Debbie’s waist, affection creeping into her voice at the nickname “Jailbird” from their years at college together when Debbie had a tendency to sneak around. She hadn’t complained about the price when Lou insisted they stop at Starbucks. Yeah, Lou should’ve known what was coming. 

Now Lou is on the ground from when Debbie sent back the words from space “Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows.” She can’t fucking breathe, can’t get a single breath in past the sobs that she hates are escaping her. She knows she shouldn’t be crying, Debbie’s where she always wanted to be, among the taunting stars. 

Unfortunately, that means Debbie isn’t here with her. She doesn’t have anyone with her anymore. She’s alone for the first time since she met Debbie. Even when they weren’t together there was always someone in her corner, and not that person is stuck in space above the blue earth, in a place where she can think all day.

And waste her elegance and all that broken beauty that she keeps trapped up, letting it out in midnight breakdowns and soft morning light. The world is a jealous place. 

It doesn’t help that there are people all around her speaking as if Debbie is some sort of experiment that they got wrong. They’re giving suggestions, writing notes, and not registering that Debbie was a human being who has a family. Well, kind of has a family. It’s not a functional one, but it’s a family nonetheless. Maybe this is just as hard on them as it is on Lou. They’ve worked years for this, only to have it go wrong so quickly after it went right. 

It’s not like it’s Debbie’s fault. It was either she didn’t return or they would have to spend millions more finding a way to get her back. Deb had simply taken the former option, leaving everyone and everything behind. Lou doesn’t pretend to understand the science or logistics behind it. Debbie had tried to explain it to her many times, using whatever was around to help, but it’s way out of Lou’s wheelhouse. She wishes she understood a little more so she could know why the hell was going on right now. 

Lou makes herself get up, get out of this crowded room and into somewhere more private. She hates that these strangers have seen her cry. It doesn’t matter that her wife is gone, that she’s never going to see her again. Lou doesn’t cry in front of people. That was something her and Debbie had in common, among many other things.  
She makes her way to Debbie’s office. It still has life in it, the cactus on her desk, the air freshener plugged into the wall. She locks the door behind her, and slides down the wall. She doesn’t cry anymore, she’s too upset to do that. Her head is buried in her knees, and she’s doing that silent screaming thing that Debbie would knows means she’s overwhelmed. 

This doesn’t make any sense. Debbie is supposed to be here, she was supposed to come back to their apartment after a week, wake Lou up in the middle of the night. She was supposed to stay and fill their apartment with beautiful sorrowful violin music, soaring notes that take Lou to the stars. Now there’s going to be a dusty violin case laying in their living room, collecting dust, a terrible fate for something so well loved.

Lou didn’t think Debbie would leave like this, though. They’ve known each other for years, and they both hate goodbyes. But Debbie isn’t cruel, she would never admit it but she wasn’t one to leave like that. No, she would want Lou to have some sort of closure. 

Lou knows Debbie. Debbie wouldn’t want anyone to know she cared, she would try to hide it as much as possible. 

But Debbie also knows Lou. She would know Lou would go to her office. So that’s where she hid it. Lou goes over to Debbie’s desk, looking through the drawers for something to grab her eye. One of Lou’s jackets, the black and white one, is hung across the back of Debbie’s chair. She doesn’t know when Debbie stole it from her, but she’s been looking for it. Lou reaches into the front pocket and finds a letter, written in green ink in Debbie’s sprawling handwriting. 

Hey Lou.  
I’m sorry I had to do this to you. You know what I’m talking about. If everything is going like I thought it would I’m not coming back. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this is what was going to happen. I could tell you my intentions were to not hurt you, but we both know intentions don’t mean jack shit after the act has been done. It doesn’t change what happened. I want you to know that it wasn’t easy. Leaving you has never been easy, especially if I don’t really know what’s going to happen.  
I hate that I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. There are millions of horrible futures for me, but somehow I don’t feel the weight of them. I feel the weight of taking myself away from you. It’s egotistical of me to think that this is going to tear you apart, but I also know you enough to know that it’s not going to be easy.  
Don’t think for a goddamn second that this is easy for me. I know I’m taking a lot with me as I go to see the stars, but I also know you know how to move on. That’s my only solace.  
Tell Danny he can go fuck himself, then tell him I love him. Tell him to treat Rusty well and keep an eye on Linus for me. Make sure Basher knows that it’s his job to take care of you, not that he needs encouragement to be paternal and comforting.  
I don’t know what to tell you now. I want to be selfish and tell you not to find someone else, but I won’t. Just stay away from another smoking hot astronaut, yeah? I don’t think I’ll ever see you again. Not even in dreams. You know how I am. But maybe I will. That would be nice. Please don’t cry too much, you’ll do that thing where you wipe it off on your sleeve and ruin it. I hope no one saw you cry, I know how much you hate that.  
All of that being said. I won’t regret this choice. I refuse to let fear take away this experience. You know this is something I’ve wanted forever. I can’t wait to touch the stars. I might finally find something more stunning and hypnotic than you.  
As ever,  
Deb

Lou is, well, she’s a mess. She’s not crying, she’s done with that, but she’s not alright either. So that’s it. Debbie is gone. The universe is apparently just as jealous as the world. She sits down in Deb’s chair, and leans her head back. She has a rough life ahead, one she thought she had a partner through. The note makes it obvious. 

Debbie was scared. She was so fucking scared, probably as scared as Lou was. 

She folds the paper back up and slips it into the jacket of her suit. She grabs some of Debbie’s shit from the drawer. A few rings that Debbie took off while she was working, a drawing with some sort of math equations, a picture of them that Danny hired someone to take without their knowledge. 

She has a few things she needs to do. Call Danny. Figure out what the fuck she’s going to do with their apartment. It’s just her apartment now.

She surprisingly feels no guilt. No one was going to be able to stop Debbie from doing it if she didn’t want to be stopped. Debbie’s an unstable yet unstoppable force of willpower. She’s a fucking menace. 

Or at least she was. 

Now she’s gone and Lou is fucking lost in the whirlwind she left behind.

**Author's Note:**

> eh, this started off better than the way i ended it if that makes sense. not my best, but it’s my first debbie and lou fic yay!


End file.
